Adult cereals? I'd love to try some...

There I was, wandering around Sainsbury's on Saturday when I came across this titillating piece of signage. (Pardon the expression.)

Adult cereals? The mind boggles. Of course, it's simply the section where the cereals aren't drowned in sugar, smothered in chocolate or look as if they've been irradiated.

(Actually, with our current obesity epidemic, these are precisely the shelves where we should be buying our kids' breakfast cereals.)

But cereals for adults? What can you buy there? Ready Breast? Pornflakes? Crunchy Nuts, naturally.

And then it came to me. This is where you get your oats.

Anybody else got any good adult cereal suggestions?

How to write a great strapline

In my last blog post I gave quite a few current straplines a bit of a pasting. I imagine some people might have been thinking, ‘Fair enough, smarty-pants, but how do you write a good one?’

It’s a good question and for most copywriters the arrival on your desk of a new strapline brief can fill you with excitement and trepidation in equal measures. Why? Because it’s your opportunity to show your skills and possibly create a strapline that really captures the essence of a brand.

Conversely, you know you’re in for some bloody hard work which will really test your mettle as a wordsmith. It’s like chipping away at solid rock hoping to find a diamond. Trouble is, you don’t know where it is or even if you’re prospecting in the right place.

You’ll probably come up with plenty of alternatives which are pretty good. But you still have that feeling that somewhere out there is that unique combination of words that nails down that company and everything it represents. You’ve just got to keep looking.

(For men, it’s that same uncertain, troubling feeling you get when your wife/partner/girlfriend is extremely cross with you, but you’re not exactly sure why…)

It’s the brand in five words or less

Before you even put fingertip to keypad you want to be absolutely, totally, 100% certain that you know the brand inside and out.

* What kind of company is this?

* What do they stand for?

* How do they see themselves?

* What’s their tone of voice?

* What are the benefits of using this company?

* What does it offer to customers?

From here, your strapline must be completely in tune with these values and capture the very essence of that company. You know that feeling you get when you think about a company? Your strapline must give you that feeling and create that mood.

Start digging

Now comes the fun bit. At this point, you need a good brief. This should set out the single proposition you are trying to express. Don’t allow the client or account management team or whoever it is you’re working for to say it’s an open brief and you can do anything.

Nor let them get away with a brief that says we want to talk about quality, value and service, and we’re right on your doorstep. Pin them down to one benefit or one singular expression of the company’s values.

As the old saying goes, ‘Give me the freedom of tight briefs.’

Let’s take an example. Tesco have a great strapline for their home delivery service:

Tesco home delivery
You shop. We drop.

You get the idea and the benefits in an instant. Then again, Asda have one that’s just as good:

Asda home delivery
From our store to your door

Just as clear. Just as punchy. Now suppose that Morrisons decide to introduce home delivery and you have the brief to come up with a strapline.

Start by taking a big A2 pad and filling it with words, phrases, idioms, colloquialisms and slang around the single thought you’re trying to express. Or in this case, the two halves of this benefit story.

(Of course, you can open a new Word doc and do the same thing. But type your lines in about 18 point. I actually prefer to see the lines on screen and it’s easier to move words, parts of lines and whole lines around, which suits me being essentially lazy.)

Get some online help

And you don’t have to sit their racking your brain trying to think of words. Use a Roget’s Thesaurus to find synonyms for the words you’re thinking around. There’s a good one online at www.thesaurus.com.

Throw in a few idioms. You won’t be using the idiom lock, stock and barrel but it might inspire something else. Or you can tweak or twist it to create a new thought. There’s a good site at www.goenglish.com. Don’t forget rhymes too. Instead of sitting their trying to think of rhymes, you’ll save a lot of time by going to www.rhymer.com.

* So, the first part of this proposition throws up: home page, basket, mouse,

click, trolley, shopping, shopping list, online, net, bags, meals, window

shopping, keep shop, shop around, talk shop, buy, groceries and so on.

* The second part gives us: door, armchair, home, delivery, doorstep, deliver,

knock, knock, easy, convenient, save time, wheels, van, relax, bags, simple,

shopping and so on.

You have to really concentrate and think of every tiny component of the ordering process and what will happen when the delivery arrives at your door. Then you want to come up with a line that expresses each half of this product story, but links them together cleverly, succinctly and memorably. Or a line that just states the whole proposition.

Don’t forget to employ the weapons in your arsenal as a copywriter – alliteration, rhythm, repetition, metaphor and rhyming.

Based on some of these words, phrases and idioms I’ve jotted down, I can then start to pull together some straplines and see how they’re working.

Click, click, knock, knock.
Morrisons home delivery


Meals on wheels
Morrisons home delivery


Bags more convenient
Morrisons home delivery


We deliver
Morrisons home delivery


Get your Friday nights back
Morrisons home delivery


From mouse mat to door mat
Morrisons home delivery


All the groceries. None of the grief.
Morrisons home delivery


From our home page to your home
Morrisons home delivery


Delicious. Delectable. Delivered.
Morrisons home delivery

From here, you can begin to sift out those lines which have potential or need more work, from those that are too quirky or don’t sit with Morrisons tone of voice. With straplines it really is a numbers game and the more you come up with and can refine, the better the final selection will be.

Of course, this all takes time. Which amuses me when a client briefs you on copy for an ad or campaign and says, ‘Oh, and can you just spend a couple of hours thinking of a few straplines.’

I guess it’s the same for designers when they’re asked to knock out a few logo designs – that’s only a couple of hours work, isn’t it?

Your strapline checklist

So to summarise, you need to keep checking throughout the process that your straplines are:

* Relevant

* Honest

* Memorable

* Short

* Creative

And, most important of all, that they are totally in line with the client’s brand values and tone of voice.

Tune in next time for an entirely random selection of my favourite straplines.

For more invaluable help and advice on writing, marketing and advertising, go to www.jamiehudson.com

Why are most straplines just crap lines?

OK, so I’m generalising and being just a tad subjective. And I only used the word ‘crap’ because it made a nice headline. So let me be more specific. A great many straplines you see these days are irrelevant, forgettable and most unforgiveable, boring.

It wouldn’t be so bad if these straplines belonged to small, local companies and had been dreamed up by the business owner, whose full-time job is making widgets, not writing powerful, effective, memorable straplines.

Or if they’d been thought up by the account exec or an inexperienced junior copywriter in the ad agency. They’re only working on a small account so it doesn’t warrant the creative heavyweights spending any time on it.

No, these straplines belong to some of the biggest household names in Britain. Companies you know and love. Companies with strong brands which you’d have thought they’d be working hard to protect, cherish and nurture.

An emotional emptiness

What all of these straplines have in common is the feeling they give me. A horrible, mushy nothingness. An emotional emptiness. No connection with the business. And a sense that if the company doesn’t even know what it stands for, how can I?

Step forward just a few of the companies on my Strapline Roll Call of Dishonour.

This one’s a real corker. Sky TV is in millions of homes across the country. They bring, ‘the most up-to-date editorial, pictures and video-breaking news, sport, showbiz, movies, TV, travel and more.’

Just think of the panoply of words that are at the copywriter’s disposal, the images and emotions that can be stirred up in the reader’s mind, the bond that people have with the box in the corner and nowadays, their computers. Write something that taps into this feeling and you’ve reinforced Sky’s position in the market and helped create an even stronger brand.

So what do we get?

Sky
Believe in better

What’s this? A strapline for the C of E? A promise of nirvana in the afterlife? And at the very least it’s saying, you can believe in better from Sky, but this doesn’t mean you’re going to get it.

How about this one:

Currys
We can help

Which just goes to show that one of the key requirements of any strapline is relevance. At least try to suggest what kind of company you are and what kind of products or services you sell. This strapline could literally be applied to any company, but would actually work really well for the Samaritans.

Here’s another one which was only launched in April 2010:

Renault
Drive the change

OK, so it does have ‘drive’ in it. And they may be launching new models which have changed from the old ones. But the use of the word change doesn’t work in this context. The old Asda strapline, ‘You’ll love the change’ worked because Asda had changed and it tied this into a value proposition. The Renault line does none of this and is just woolly and unfocused.

What’s more, there’s no suggestion of the French heritage of the cars. Remember, Renault’s most successful TV campaign, Nicole and Papa’ was so charmingly Gallic you could almost smell the Gauloises. And tying into your national heritage and country of origin has worked so well for Audi – ‘Vorsprung durch technik’ – that now VW do it too – ‘Das auto’ - 25 years after Audi first had the idea.

All in all, a great strapline. For an HRT product.

Here are a couple of straplines which completely baffle me:

Toby Carvery
Just as it should be

So Toby Carvery is just as it should be. I’m getting that feeling again. What should it be that Toby Carvery is just as? (You see what I mean?) I haven’t been to a Toby for about 30 years, but if you gave me a good reason to go again, I’d go. This isn’t it. I don’t know what Toby should be as and now you’re making me think about it.

I just want something that suggests a good choice of well-cooked food, nice wines, a relaxing atmosphere, good times, great company. All at a good price. A place that’s special, but not posh or expensive - a kind of upmarket Harvester.

And what about:

Simplyhealth.co.uk
We can be bothered

Well, I’m glad to hear it. I think they want to be in the territory of the famous Avis strapline, ‘We try harder’ which is a good strategy. But please, don’t use the word, ‘bothered’. Straight away you’re thinking about Catherine Tate’s irritating teenager.

Here are two more which actually aren’t bad:

Asda
Saving you money every day

Nice and simple, and it talks about saving money which is what Asda is all about. But even this can be improved. I’m guessing that the ‘you’ in the line is a collective you referring to everyone in Britain. In that sense, Asda does save us Britons money every day.

But I’m an individual and every single person who reads this line does so individually. And guess what – I don’t go to Asda every day. I might go once or twice a month if I can’t avoid it. It would be much better to say, ‘Asda. Saving you money every shop.’ There’s alliteration, it scans nicely and people now refer to doing the weekly ‘shop’.

Enterprise rent-a-car
We’ll pick you up

Great. The USP as a strapline, and why not. And even if it isn’t a USP and every car rental company does it, nobody else is saying it. Therefore, it becomes a brand property of Enterprise.

Why so bad?

There are a variety of reasons. From the client’s point of view, nobody in the marketing team wants to green light a strapline which might backfire and harm their career prospects.

A strapline which actually says something about the company and its brand values might attract unwanted attention, open up the company to criticism or be controversial. It might even heaven forbid, stand out and be noticed. In short, nobody wants to be the person who takes that risk.

(It reminds me of the phrase from the 80s, ‘Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM.’ It was true. But where are IBM now?)

This mindset was echoed in a recent presentation by Rory Sutherland, President of the IPA. He said, “Creative people have a fear of the obvious, and yet they have to present their work to people who have a love of the obvious.”

In short, clients want obvious straplines because that’s what they feel happy, safe and secure with. They certainly don’t want to run the risk of standing out.

On the advertising agency side, similar thinking applies. The agency doesn’t want to lose the account and if the client is saying they want a safe, corporate strapline then that’s what they’re jolly well going to get.

Of course, many large, established companies have a set of brand values, standing and reputation to uphold and can’t be seen to be supported by a tagline that’s too radical, creative or just plain different. I understand that. But the skill of the copywriter comes in developing something new and fresh while keeping within these constraints.

And so we are left with these safe, sterile, meaningless jumbles of words. But remember, as the old advertising saying goes, ‘Safe isn’t safe.’

Tune in next time for more on straplines and how to write a great one.

For more invaluable help and advice on writing, marketing and advertising, go to www.jamiehudson.com

How I nearly got fired as a junior writer

Back in the 80’s, fairly early in my career, I worked for a financial DM agency in Nottingham. Our clients were established finance companies like Sun Life, Ambassador Life, Friends Provident and Debenhams Finance.

The latter was a particularly big client and we produced all of the literature for their Debenhams Homemaker Charge card – DL leaflets, statement stuffers and so on.

The Marketing Director at Debenhams Finance was a hard-nosed, senior marketing pro called Malcolm Findlay who was a stern taskmaster and had everyone at the agency running around after him. He also seemed to be constantly changing copy and making pointless amendments. Malcolm had a very close relationship with our own MD, a charismatic copywriter called Keith Barnes who had set up the agency.

One afternoon when I didn't have very much to do, I decided for some reason it would be a good idea to add some extra copy to a printed Debenhams Finance Homemaker Charge card leaflet which was lying on my desk.

Among the reams of copy extolling the virtues of getting massively into debt and paying exorbitant interest rates for the privilege of shopping at Debenhams was a Summary of Benefits panel:

Ten good reasons why you should open a Debenhams Homemaker Account today!

You know the kind of thing. Pounds of extra spending power! Invitations to exclusive shopping evenings! Spread your repayments to suit yourself! Blah, blah, blah...

Without even knowing why (perhaps Malcolm had been particularly savage to a piece of my copy) I absent-mindedly wrote on the leaflet in biro just below the tenth benefit:

11. If you don’t, Malcolm Findlay will break your legs.

Laughing to myself at my wit and brilliance, I closed the leaflet and put it back on my desk.

Some time later, we had a major strategy meeting with Debenhams Finance. Malcolm Findlay and two or three of his chronies came up to Nottingham to discuss their marketing plans for the coming 12 months.

Everyone in the agency was on their best behaviour, desks were tidied and even the toilet had a new air freshener – it was going to be a big, important meeting.

We were all keeping our heads down and looking as professional, dedicated and hardworking as we could. (A big ask.)

From time to time, Keith would pop his head out of the boardroom and shout to someone to bring in something the Debenhams team needed to see – a piece of artwork, a competitor’s ad or leaflet, a print quote and so on.

At some point during the afternoon, the door opened and Keith boomed out,

“Jamie, have you got the latest Homemaker leaflet – can you bring it in?”

I quickly looked around my desk, saw it, picked it up and took it into the meeting. I went back to my desk and forgot all about it.

The meeting broke up. Malcolm and his team got the train back to London and we all relaxed. I was around in the studio chatting to a few of the artworkers when Keith appeared around the corner.

“Hudson, you spotty little twat. What’s this?”

“What’s what Keith?”

This didn’t sound good. Keith had previously given me my first job at a large and very good above-the-line agency when he was Creative Director. He had trained me up from nothing to being a promising junior copywriter.

He was a brilliant writer – perhaps the best I’ve ever worked with. If you did something good, he praised you and you felt fantastic.

If you did something bad, or simply hadn’t thought something through, you were in for an almighty bollocking, which would make you want to run away and become a dustbinman.

I knew that tone of voice....

“If you don’t take out a Debenhams Homemaker card, Malcolm Findlay will break your legs.”

Reddening very quickly and feeling my stomach churning and my bottom tightening, I suddenly remembered. The only thing I could think was, ‘Oh, fuck.’

Thankfully, after what seemed like a lifetime, the spotlight was taken away from me by the sound of the studio spontaneously bursting into laughter.

“Luckily for you, he saw the funny side of it.”

“Sorry Keith.”

“But don’t do it again, you little worm. And I’ll tell you why. I did something similar when I was a junior writer. I once wrote a brochure for a ladder company. I thought it would be funny to drop in a little joke as I was typing out the copy. So I said that their products were endorsed by the Dutch Olympic mountain climbing team.”

We all fell about laughing.

“It went to print.”

I never, ever did it again.

The secret formula for the killer, fail-safe, guaranteed response DM letter

When I started out in advertising just after the Ice Age, I began my career at a large above the line agency in Nottingham.

One of their clients was Cavendish Woodhouse (you probably don’t remember them). They sold three-piece suites, corner units, bedroom fitments, storage units and so on in the style of MFI. And like MFI they went bust when we all decided we actually preferred Swedish three-piece suites, corner units, bedroom fitments, storage units and so on.

Cavendish Woodhouse had a massive database of existing customers who they mailed regularly with sale previews, special offers, new product launches and general news.

My very first DM letter

Now this was great for me. I could cut my teeth on the agency’s glamorous above the line accounts. (Well, the occasional trade ad.) And I could also have a go at writing DM letters. Which would be another string to my bow.

I hadn’t been there long when I got my first chance to write a sale preview letter to the Cavendish Woodhouse database.

I drafted it out and proudly took it into the Creative Director, who was a brilliant DM writer. It came back covered in red ink and the kind of naughty words you only hear at football matches.

I felt like packing it all in and becoming a dustbinman. But he said it wasn’t bad for a very first attempt. And he also gave me a little magazine cutting which he said I should keep forever. He said it was the secret formula for writing great DM letters for any client, any product or service, to any market.

It works. So I’ve kept it forever and pull it out whenever I’m writing a DM letter. Of course, you sometimes need to tweak it or change the structure or keep it very brief if it’s a short letter.

Here it is. I won’t expand on any of the points because they’re pretty self-explanatory:

1. Promise a benefit in the headline and opening paragraph – the most important benefit to the reader.

2. Immediately enlarge upon the most important benefit.

3. Tell the reader exactly what he or she will get.

4. Back up any statements with proofs, endorsements and testimonials.

5. Tell the reader what he or she might lose if he doesn’t act.

6. Rephrase the most important benefits in the closing offer.

7. Incite action NOW and give a close date.

P.S. Include a P.S. (which is the second most-read part of any letter) which restates the offer and includes another call to action.

But is it guaranteed to work?

I bet you’re wondering how I can claim that this secret formula produces killer, fail-safe, guaranteed response DM letters. After all, nothing in DM is guaranteed.

It all depends on the skill of the copywriter of course. Pulling out the benefits. Linking them to the psychological and emotional triggers that drive everyone. Demonstrating how this product or service can satisfy these psychological and emotional triggers. And whipping up the kind of urgency and desire that makes the reader want to respond right now, if not sooner.

If you want a letter like this, email me at jamie@jamiehudson.com. I’ll use the formula of course. But the rest is down to me.

Features. Advantages. Benefits. What sells the hardest?

 

Sound familiar?

The 2009 model has a 220-horsepower V8 engine, anti-lock brakes, traction control, automatic safety restraint system and both front and side-impact airbags.

Or how about this?

This ring features a 1.4 carat, pear-shaped cut white diamond with an SI1 clarity grade and an H color rating.

They’re pretty impressive aren’t they? Or are they? They’re just lists of features which actually mean next to nothing to the man and woman in the street. Unless of course, you’re a total petrolhead or diamond expert.

The problem is, lists of features like these don’t make people buy, which is what we’re all trying to do.

Benefits make people buy. Or to put it another way:

Features tell, but benefits sell.

But what is truly incredible is that you see and hear lists of features like these all the time – in ads, in brochures, on websites, on TV commercials.

Very few advertisers even talk about benefits, much less make the effort to get really good at translating features into benefits.

And yet power-packed words describing benefits are what trigger the emotions that make us spend our money, time or energy.

People all over the world of every single nationality, class, colour, race and religion buy because of these emotions.

So let’s look at those two lists of features again. They should read something like:

This car has a smooth, powerful engine, something you’ll appreciate when you pull out to overtake. The extra power will also help you avoid obstacles and quickly get you and your family out of harm's way, while the extra safety features ensure you're all safe and secure. And it's great fun to drive!

And again:

Imagine gently slipping this ring onto her finger and staring intensely into her eyes. They glisten as she sees this symbol of your undying devotion, this token of your lifelong commitment to her and your life together. An adoring smile spreads across her face as she looks you in the eye and whispers ‘Yes’…

Turning features into benefits

There’s another term to throw into the mix. Advantages. Simply put, they turn features into benefits.

Here’s how you can compile a list of features and turn them into advantages and benefits for any product or service.

Features are what products have. For example, ‘This pushchair has a durable, lightweight aluminium chassis.’

Advantages are what features do. For example, ‘The durable, lightweight aluminium chassis makes the XYZ strong and yet easy to push.’

Benefits are what features mean. For example,’This means that you can take baby for long, relaxing, sleep-inducing walks without tiring. And the XYZ will give you years of trouble-free service, so it could be taking your children’s children for long walks too.’

So, to summarise, you need to interrogate your product or service and write down as many features as you can. But don’t stop there. Work out what the advantages of all these features are. Then turn these advantages into benefits and hammer them home in every single piece of advertising you do.

14 questions you need to ask when taking a copy brief

It’s the most important part of any copywriting job you take on.

If you get a great brief, there’s no excuse for not doing a great job. If you get a rubbish brief or no brief at all, you’re up against it. You’ll have to use every ounce of your experience and advertising nous to produce a professional finished result.

I’ve taken hundreds of briefs in my time and I’ve found that they usually fall into three categories.

If you’re lucky, you’ll get a full written brief that includes absolutely everything you need to know. Brilliant - you can get going straight away.

Or you’ll get a sketchy brief. Or you’ll get no brief at all, or it will consist of someone talking at you for half an hour while you frantically scribble down some notes. The result: three or four pages of scrawl that you have to decipher when you sit down to start the job.

With scenarios two and three, you’ll have to flesh out the ‘brief’ or even write your own by doing research, and throwing in your own insights and gut feeling for what’s required.

Frustrating and time-consuming, and all too often, the client isn’t prepared to pay for this.

In short, if you get a bad brief, it will be a case of **** in, **** out and guess who’ll get the blame for that.

This is why it’s so important to get the best brief you possibly can.

This checklist gives you 14 questions that you need to ask when you start every single job.

Ask your client all of these questions and write down the answers. Because it’s amazing how often you begin work on a new project and find that there’s some essential piece of information that they haven’t give you, or you haven’t asked for.

1. What’s the objective? Do they want to beat the control by X percent? Generate one-step sales or qualified leads? Strengthen relationships? Introduce a new product? Increase average order size? Direct traffic to their website? Test media, offers or other DM elements?

2. What’s the brand personality? Is it upbeat and innovative or classic and conservative? Is it straight and established or quirky and left-field? Is there an established copy voice, tone and vocabulary? If so, you need to have copies of these.

3. Who’s the audience? Is it customers or prospects? What is their average age, household income, educational background, likes and dislikes? You need to have a clear image in your mind of one of these individuals, rather than a mass of nameless, faceless people.

4. What’s the product or service? You need the features and corresponding benefits. Are there are truly unique features and benefits? Price? Is it new? Improved? A best-seller? Back by popular demand? Are there any competitive advantages and disadvantages?

5. What’s the offer? This is what generates response, so you need to understand all the elements of the offer and why they are included - discounts, deadlines, guarantees, premiums, other incentives, delivery and payment options.

6. What are the top three buying objections? Ask why people don’t buy this product or service. You need to deal with these objections - either directly or indirectly.

7. What’s the call to action? Do they want people to respond by phone, mail, email, online, clickthrough to a website, in-store or at an event? You also need to find out what will happen after a prospect raises his or her hand as a qualified lead.

8. What’s the format? For space advertising, is it a full or half-page ad, front cover, back cover or ROP? For DM, is it a postcard, solo pack, self-mailer, box, tube or other format? For email, is it text or HTML? Does it link to an existing web page or is a new landing page required?

9. What’s the media? DM lists, email lists, TV, radio, space advertising, online.

10. What are they testing? Copy? Creative? Formats? Lists? List segments? Offers? Timing? Other DM elements?

11. Is any other background info available? Interviews with customers, salespeople, customer service staff, product managers and developers? Are company brochures, newsletters or annual reports available? Get as much information as you possibly can, because you never know where you’re going to find a real nugget you can use. And it could even form the basis of your whole campaign or creative approach.

12. Can I try the product? Ask for a product sample. Go onto the company’s website. You need to try what you are writing about because it gives you first-hand experience of the product or service’s benefits – or otherwise.

13. What am I trying to beat? Ask for a sample of the control pack, email or space ad you’re trying to beat. It will show you what you’re up against and stop you repeating what they’re already doing, which is a waste of your time and the client’s money.

14. What’s the budget? Perhaps most important of all, how much is the client going to pay you to do this job? If it’s enough, fine. If it’s not, then either ask for more, which you might not get. Or make it clear to the client what you can do for the budget available. This avoids misundertandings further down the line, particularly when it comes to paying your invoice. 

 And finally, good luck and happy writing!